Christmas Festivities and Anxiety

I've been back from university for a week and a half now for Christmas. I am so relieved to be at home but there have been many moments my anxiety-ridden head has threatened to ruin Christmas festivities.

My sleeping routine has got so much worse- to the extent of buying myself Valerian (herbal) tablets to help me relax before bedtime. They have been helping a bit- so I would definitely recommend them- however I am not sure they help with the a billion times I wake up during the night!

I've also found it extremely difficult that my family and friends at home have not seen the worst of my anxiety whilst I've been at uni for 11 weeks. They try and comfort me when I'm worried and upset with 'don't be silly', 'calm down' or 'its stupid to worry about that'. 

Recently, after a long day of Christmas shopping in big crowds, socialising and using public transport, when I got home all I wanted to do was lie down in a dark room and sleep. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. However, my family did not understand this and thought it was selfish that I wouldn't want to watch a Christmas film with them.

I don't blame them though, anxiety is invisible to everyone apart from yourself.

I do think I've been brave though. I've been trying not to cancel on plans and still socialise with people. I'm not sure if its just because I feel a lot more comfortable in situations in Essex.

An app called Mind Shift has also been extremely helpful to me. It allows you to identify situations you get anxiety in, learn phrases to stop your brain from going into overload and also techniques that could help you overcome your fears. My panic attacks have been a lot easier to deal with because of this. 

Now its Christmas in 2 days, and I know I'll have a great time with some anxiety mixed in. But I'll make it through and the anxiety moments won't be the memorable ones.

Because I LOVE CHRISTMAS.

My NEW Ombre Blonde Hair

Today was a big day for me. After five years of being blonde, I finally went back to my brunette roots. 

I've really needed a change- I believe I am a different person to who I was a year ago and it was a little bit weird to me that I still looked the same to everyone else. I'm much more mature but my anxiety has built. A trip to the hairdressers actually really frightened me; small talk is a big worry for me at the moment. Nonetheless, I'm so glad that I went.

Ombre is the perfect compromise for me, as I still think my pale skin really suits blonde hair. So at my roots I am brunette and at the tips I am blonde.

I also went a lot shorter...gulp. This is going to take a lot of getting used to, I'm so protective of my hair after an awful cut when I was 17.

BUT so far, I LOVE IT.

If you are Essex based, you should visit LJR Hairdressers in Billericay- they are fab!

Let me know what you think?

After Ombre

May- before Ombre

Get to Know Daydreamer Girl

1. What is your job?

I am a student who doesn't feel like a student any more. After a placement year, I feel too old to be back at University. BUT I will survive my final year.

2. What was favourite subject at school?

History. I'm actually geeking out and watching 'Reign', which is on Netflix at the moment. I wish I carried it on to degree level.

3. What is your favourite drink?

As a soft drink- I think everyone knows I love an orange juice. It kills me to limit myself to one cup a day.

Alcoholic- I like to treat myself to a Disaronno and Diet Coke every now and then. Cheeky.

4. What is your favourite song at the moment?

Biebs and 1D are forever being played at the moment. I feel like I've gone back to my 15 year old self. The 'Sorry' music vid is on repeat as we speak; trying to tell myself I could learn the dance if I wanted to.

5. What is your favourite food?

Asian food. Mmmmhmmm. I love spice and orient flavours. Thai green curry is part of my weekly consumption.

6. What is the last thing you bought?

A black and white striped roll-necked Topshop dress on Black Friday. I haven't worn it yet, I'm saving it for one of my many Christmas meals when I head back to Essex. But I LOVE it- and it was a bargain at £20!

7 . Favourite Perfume?

I have asked for Illicit by Jimmy Choo for Christmas- after an extensive tester session in Boots one rainy Saturday.

8. Favourite Shop?

Primark is at its best at the moment- producing lots of Winter favourites and new Winter fashion items. However, I also love H&M, Topshop and ASOS.

9. Favourite YouTube Channel?

Vlogmas is the BEST at the moment. Tanya Burr and Zoella were my first YouTube loves. But I have recently discovered Meg Says and Freddy My Love, who are both gorgeous and really sweet to watch. The beauty tips, self confidence advice and happiness I get from YouTube videos is unbelievable.

10. Favourite Beauty Product?

Currently this has to be the Real Techniques Miracle Complexion Sponge. It really works wonders with any liquid foundation you buy, giving you a flawless base.

Rimmel Radiance BB Cream Look

I've always hated wearing a foundation everyday. So it was about time I invested in a BB Cream, after hearing how amazing the Rimmel London Wake Me Up Concealer was, I decided to stick with Rimmel. I bought the concealer in ivory and Rimmel London BB Cream Radiance in very light.

I am so glad I made this investment- the BB cream works wonders for my slightly dry and red skin. The very light formula doesn't feel as heavy as foundation, so is great for a day to day look. It also feels very moisturising, and a great primer base for a dusting of powder. I love the radiance it gives to my dull skin; making me look like I've slept like a princess.

The concealer definitely contributes to my look by getting rid of the dark circles under my eyes, so I look wide awake even when I'm not! Also helping to bring out the blue in my eyes.

Golden Dream H&M Homeware

I've discovered H&M Home this week...and I'm not sure I'll ever look back.

However, I did order some Christmas presents from there, and if there are not as fab as they look on-line, then I'll obviously have to think twice about my above statement.

My room at home in baby pink with silver accessories. BUT, I am loving gold home accessories at the moment. 

If I could redecorate, this is what I would buy from H&M-

A beautiful bowl to eat all my Christmas desserts from...I make apple crumble every year, as my Sister & I don't like Christmas pudding.

A large vase to put some fresh flowers in...if anyone wants to buy me any, hint hint.

Every girl needs a box to put her 'bits and bobs' in, and how cute is this gold box?

I have a Yankee Candle advent calendar this year, so I need some cute tealight holders.

I love using the Christmas holidays as an excuse to take lots of photos, so I need a golden frame obviously.

The happiest time of all for me at Christmas time is cosy days in bed watching films.

This glamorous candle has a scent of Cinnamon which I love at this time of year!

For my cosy film days, I need a snuggly blanket with little golden flecks on it- adorable!

This teacup/mug has actually been purchased for one of my wonderful friends.

Mui Ne, Vietnam

 For six weeks over summer I went travelling to South-East Asia with two friends from University. We spent 3 weeks in Thailand, 2 weeks in Vietnam and 1 week in Cambodia. I thought I would do a series of blog posts on some of my favourite places I went to on the trip; hopefully it will inspire some of you to travel!

White Sand Dunes ft. our quad bike

In the South of Vietnam lies a beach/coastal town, home to an old fishing village and beautiful sand dunes. After just visiting Nha Trang, the Asian equivalent to Benidorm, we were mesmerised as soon as we stepped off our bus. Even if it did rain within half an hour of us getting there..

We did the most amazing day trip booked through our hostel, which saw us visiting the old fishing village, the fairy stream, the white sand dunes and the red sand dunes for sunset. It was very cheap, I think it roughly worked out at about £3 each or something ridiculous. We were transported to each place in a small group in a 'american style' Jeep, which after a few weeks in Asia we had worked out basically meant us climbing in and out of a boot of a 4x4 vehicle. Safety definitely is not considered as much in Asia, so look after yourself and your bags etc when out there as much as possible.

Our first stop was the old fishing village, which was pretty dreary and run down, which would explain me not taking ANY pictures. However, we were quickly cheered up with a walk down the fairy stream. It was about midday, so this did consequently end in some rather sweaty hairstyles. Plus I felt forced to wear trousers as a day in the sun the day before had left me with some extremely burnt and painful pale girl legs, which probably didn't help with the extreme heat...well done Katie. But anyway, it was beautiful. We were able to take our shoes off, and walk along the soft red sand at a leisurely pace.The limestone walls, set against the stream was very pretty. I think it took us about 1 hour to do a round trip of the stream. 

Walk along the Fairy Stream

Next we were taken to the amazing white sand dunes. We were given the opportunity to ride quad bikes at this point, either individually or in pairs. My anxiety decided for me that I would ride on the back of my friends bike, as she is a confident driver. We had 45 minutes up on the dunes, and it was SO much fun. I took a lot of videos of this, which resulted in basically every video of us screaming, laughing and getting lost (how do you even get lost on a sand dune?!). I thought it would be really hot on the sand dunes, but it had a lovely breeze up there. It really was special.

Quad biking on the White Sand Dunes

Dancing on the White Sand Dunes

The final part of the day trip took us to the red sand dunes. There were locals at the bottom of the dunes, trying very forcibly to sell us boards to sand surf with. However, we opted against this as were a bit tired and thought walking up and down the dunes would tire us out. This was my favourite part of the day, the colour of the sand was a spectacular orange/red colour and so soft. We took a lot of photos and enjoyed the view. Our tour guide had timed it perfectly so that we would see the sunset on the dunes. Oh my gosh, it was gorgeous and so relaxing. The perfect end to a fabulous day trip.

Red Sand Dunes ft a happy me

Three amigos- red sand dunes

Mui Ne locals on the red sand dunes

Running on the red sand dunes

Sunset on the red sand dunes

We stayed in Mui Ne for three days, whilst there we stayed in an adorable beach side bungalow at Mui Ne Backpackers Resort . There wasn't much of a beach, but the sunbeds on the sight looked out onto the sea and it was very relaxing. Even if they could do with some cushions for the sunbeds..but having a numb bum seemed to be a running theme of the trip so we were used to it. It was very affordable for three girls on a backpackers budget. The bungalow was very modern and clean, with a double and a single bed, plasma TV (came in very useful on our rainy arrival day) and a lovely bathroom. 

Our beach side bungalow at Mui Ne Backpackers Resort

Sunbathing by the sea

We enjoyed all of our meals in this town too, going back to one restaurant in particular twice; Joes Cafe. It served a mix of Vietnamese food and Western food. It was just what we wanted and needed, a few burgers in our tummys. It also had live music each night, which was very chilled and relaxing. This place was also a hotel, so another lovely option to stay at in Mui Ne. The road the hostel was on was full of restaurants, so we never went hungry.

If you want to visit Mui Ne, I would definitely go now, whilst it is still relatively quaint and not very touristy. It really is beautiful, as is the Vietnamese culture.

Channel 4 First Dates Experience

I had no idea what to expect when my friend from work, Phil, text me:

So whilst feeling Christmas-sy and drinking wine after work, I decided after a lack of luck with boys recently..I would go on a date live on TV. I clearly had a mental moment.

The process of signing up was quite extensive actually. We had to have two references to confirm we were who we said we were (basically to check we weren't complete psychos), criminal background checks and a preliminary phone call. On the phone call a lovely woman asked us our preferences in Men, which is an impossibly hard thing to answer. I only really specified that I'd like someone similar in age, so I had to mentally prepare for a right weirdo.

On January 12th 2015, I made my way to St Paul's for my blind date in the evening. Thankfully I had my friend Phil by my side, and we went for a glass of Vino before for Dutch courage. Although, we needn't have bothered, seeing as when we arrived at the holding room at a youth hostel nearby, we were plied with wine (which is why everyone always looks pissed on TV). We were put in a room with all the girl extras, so I can only assume there was another room full of boy extras. Then one by one we were called down to wait outside the restaurant for our big entrance. I was so nervous at this point, I didn't even think to look what the restaurant was called, so don't ask haha.

I was made to walk in before my date and was shown to my table by the lovely Fred, the head waiter. I was sat in the main section but at the side, so I had a good view of the main dates going on around me. You could tell they were on a main date, due to them wearing a little microphone, all the mini cameras in the restaurant pointing to them and the excessive amount they were drinking.

My date walked in....uh oh. Not my type, not my type, not my type. So at least in that moment I knew straight away that boys with long-ish hair and hippy style clothing, were not for me. But I was willing to give his personality a chance. Although, it turns out he wasn't for me due to this aspect too. He was very eager to talk about himself, his love of making music, love of animals and many more things I wasn't interested in. His lack of aspiration was the biggest turn off, he wasn't at all concerned that at the age of 23 he wasn't earning any money yet. Also, he loved cats...no, just no.

However, the premise of the show means they expect you to stay there for hours so that the restaurant never looks empty. So I did everything I could to entertain myself in this time. Which meant commenting on every date going on around me, watching my friend to see if she had any chemistry with her man and taking regular trips to the toilet. The toilet had cameras in the sink area, and I managed to speak to a girl who was on a main date, whilst I was in there. She was telling me how awful he was and she was playing drinking games just to get through the date. However, when I watched the date on TV in February, they ended up becoming a couple after the show..how strange. 

The massive bonuses to this date was that Channel 4 paid for it, it was absolutely scrumptious food and they paid for our taxi home.

Safe to say at the end of the night, my date and I didn't exchange numbers, details or even full names. 

However, the whole First Dates experience was fun, and definitely opened by eyes to world of blind dating.

Here's me right in the back (behind my friend Phil on her date)-

L'Oreal True Match Foundation Review

I decided to buy the L'Oreal True Match Foundation that all beauty YouTubers have been talking about. I chose the ivory skin tone, and its perfect for pale blonde girls like me. Don't worry bloggers, I'm fully aware I need to get my roots done; it's all booked in for the Christmas holidays in Essex!

I am so so so so happy with my foundation choice. I normally use a MAC foundation but this really is a cheaper and equally as good option. The coverage is pretty sheer in the below picture, still showing my freckles on my forehead. However, I think for a night out, another layer of foundation would give me a strong pale base without being too cake-y. It also sets well with a light dusting of powder. The bottle cost of £9.99 from Superdrug.

 I needed a casual make-up look for date night meal with my Uni girls. So I went for brown tone eye-shadows from a Benefit palette on my eyes, with a pink nude lipstick. The brown eye-shadow really highlights my blue eyes and the lipstick was perfect for a situation where I would be eating.

Sensitive Skin Essentials

 Recently I have started to take a real interest in skincare. 

I very rarely get spots (lucky, I know!), however I am prone to patches of very dry skin, pimples around my nose and extremely dry lips. Adding to all those things, I have very sensitive skin, so have to be careful with perfumed products.

To combat my dry skin issues, I decided to buy +Tanya Burr 's Glamour Magazine issue. She is one of my favourite YouTubers; her make-up tutorials are amazing. I made sure to buy the magazine that came with a free Clinique Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion tester tube. A 50ml bottle costs £18, and I could not recommend more. It is fabulously moisturizing and has made my skin feel like a baby's bottom. I am in love. No more dry patches for me.

Having moaned to my friends about the little red pimples and dry patches over my nose, they suggested I try nose pore strips. I wanted a cheap option for my first every try of this type of skin care. So I looked around Wilkinson's and found they have their own range of skincare. I was able to to buy the Spotless Skincare Nose Pore Strips for £1, with 6 strips in a packet. All you need is 15 minutes of time chilling in front of some YouTube videos to apply these. I am in the habit of applying one per week, and my nose is thanking me. Now when I apply make-up to my nose it has a much more flawless look.

I discovered my favourite skincare product 2 years ago now, L'Oreal Paris Skin Perfection Micellar Water. It can be bought from Boots for the brilliant price of £3.33. It will last forever, is such a soothing way of removing my make-up and cleansing my skin.

Applying  Aloe Vera Vaseline at every opportunity during the day has been the best part of my new found love for skin care. Applying lipstick has never been easier. However, I really need to stick with this one, as my lips do like to play up. If any of my readers have a longer lasting lip balm suggestion, please let me know?

Skinny Girl Bashing

This is a very important topic in my opinion.

I am 'skinny'. A lot of people think I am 'too' thin. 

I do not go out of my way to stay this weight, or god forbid lose weight. Some weekends are spent only eating takeaways, my snacks are all unhealthy and I could not tell you the calories in anything meal I regularly eat. Although this is not something to be proud of, I really need to be healthier...woopsy.

These are some of the comments I get-

1. Are you ok? You are looking a bit thin.

2. You're so thin, do you even exist?

3. You're so lucky to be that thin.

4. Oh shutup, you're skinny, you don't get an opinion.
5. You look like you need a good meal.

I also listen to people say these things-

1. Skinny girls in magazines don't represent real women.
2. Curves are better than bones.
3. I prefer a bit of meat on girls, skinny girls are unattractive.

The real misconception is if a girl is really skinny she has an eating disorder. She is starving herself to look 'better' or making herself throw up to lose weight.

The truth; some of us have a fast metabolism.

Yet, throughout my school years I had various teachers voice their concern I might have something wrong by asking questions such as 'Have you been eating properly?'. 'Duty of care' , they would say. However, I was the teenage girl looking in the mirror after these questions, wondering if there was something wrong with me. Was I too skinny? Was I ugly? Did everyone look at me in disgust?

When will people understand that calling someone out on their body shape is WRONG. Being told you look anorexic is exactly the same as being told you look obese. It's not ok. 

What makes a real woman? Surely all of us are.

Why do we bash each other down to make ourselves feel better?

Society labels what is normal. I am normal, you are normal.

Don't make curves something all girls strive for; a skinny girl could never get them.

Soon, Men will realise they can't pit us against each other.

Men will realise we are all something they should desire.

I'm real.

Am I lucky to be thin? Some people don't make me feel that way.

But I do exist. I do have an opinion.